Keep Dreaming, Baby!

When it rains, it pours. Right now it seems to be "raining" good things and I hope it stays that way. I interviewed for a job yesterday and I think I may get it. It would be a part time, weekend job, but it would be a great one. A fun one. Another job opportunity came my way today and I will hopefully be interviewing for it this week. At one time the idea of holding two jobs at once sounded frightening. Something that would be more than I could handle, but instead it just sounds so very exciting.

I could have the more light, fun job on the weekend evenings and the more serious job where I would be doing some good, helping people, making their lives better in such a small but significant way during the week. I welcome the challenge. The opportunity to better myself and my knowledge. I'm going to do whatever I need to to make sure I take both opportunities with courage and open arms.

I am so thankful. I want to pay off bills, and begin saving for a "rainy" day. To be able to say, "I like that, and I can actually afford it without worry." Oh how lovely that would be.

There are so many things I want to do. I want to go back to school too! Be able to afford classes and have the ability to secure them. It's been such a challenge trying to get classes at the community college level. Everyone is scrambling to better themselves and their knowledge like myself. I want to get my associates degree and then move on to my bachelors. Get a degree in science. Environmental Science.
Be able to design green homes and/or landscapes. Maybe even minor in creative writing while I'm at it. The sky is the limit!

I want my own garden, to remodel and do as much DIY decorating in my yard and my home. Things can't be perfect, but I could have something close to it. Something that I am proud to say I did, all by myself. Even if not all by myself, there is never anything wrong with getting help when you need it, but to be able to say that I did it. I hated school when I was there, I always thought negatively of myself and I let people feed that feeling. But no more. In the end all I have is me and I have to build me. I have to look to me to achieve all the things I want to and am capable of. And I am capable of so much. All I have to do is put my mind to it ( Thanks Doc Brown ;D ), put my will, my drive and my heart and soul into it. And it all starts now.

I had the most wonderful day on Thursday. I got some cleaning done in the house and took Moon for a walk. It was so gorgeous outside. Such a warm, spring-like day. The flowers were in full bloom and it just made me feel so happy. I sneezed like crazy, but things were just too lovely for me to care. To stay inside. I decided to spend some time in the backyard. I put a blanket out on my hammock and some pillows and lay back and enjoyed the sun, a glass of delicious riesling and the latest book I'm reading.
It was a relaxing and wonderful way to spend a lazy afternoon. I need to do so more often.

On Thursday night, while on a run to Walgreens I saw some small pots of Hyacinth and bought a pretty little purple one. I have it sitting on on the table next to my ivy topiary and I'm waiting anxiously for it to come to a full bloom. I want more greenery, more flowers in my life.

I adore fragrant Stargazer Lilies. They had bags of bulbs all ready for planting at Costco and I bought a bag. I found these cute multi-colored planters at Walmart for about a buck and I bought one. I plan to sit out on the deck tomorrow and plant a few bulbs in it, get some ready to bloom in summer. I can't wait to see some green start peeking through the dirt and know that I have some lilies coming. Instead of buying expensive bouquets at the market, I can grow my own to cut and have in vases in the house. Have their beauty and delicious scent on display.

It's the little things that make life grand and I plan to find and bring all the small and simple things to myself so that I can find something around and within me every day to remind me that though things might look bad at one moment in time, there is something to always be thankful for, to strive for. And I will pick myself up, dust off and keep going. For my readers, I hope you will do the same for yourself.

xoxo,
    Gina

Head, meet Wall

The last few days I've felt immensely frustrated with my lack of a job and inability to get through college and get the education I want.

For weeks now I've been filling out applications left and right at numerous places. I'm looking for a job in retail, as I enjoy working that type of job very much, but not a call have I received.

As for school, last semester I was lucky to get one class that also happened to be a zero credit class. This semester I got two classes, and with the way things are going in this state and the endless budget cuts to education, I may find that no classes will be offered during the summer semester and per one counselor, classes might be down to 90 (In good times 150+ classes were offered) by the time Fall semester hits.

It's a vicious cycle right now of people losing their jobs and running back to school to further their education to get a better job, but then getting out and finding there's still no jobs. Of course, that all depends on ones major.

My aim is to get through general education so I can apply to the Radiologic Technology program, then push a bit further to become a Diagnostic Medical Sonographer (Ultrasound). At the rate I'm going, it's going to take me 4+ years just to get through general-ed. It's driving me batty! I just want to get to a point where I have a good steady job, can afford to achieve my top two life goals, and feel like I've made good use of my opportunities and improved my knowledge.

Instead I feel like I'm continuously walking into a wall that won't budge and that I can't just walk around.

Believe me, I know... no one ever said life would be easy and I know that one has to overcome obstacles along the journey to their dreams. I just wish the school part of it was at least easier. I'm not even talking about the learning itself, that will have it's own difficulties. I'd appreciate the opportunity to GET classes so I can jump into the struggle of being a good student and feel like I'm on the way to getting somewhere with a career.

Gary's advised me to focus on getting a job, and letting things happen as they will. I agree and know that I can't control everything to the 'nth degree that I'd like. Still, I cry out against the difficulty of one getting an education and how expensive it is. I know CA has the cheapest community college fees of any junior college, but setting ones sights higher to get into a university is quite daunting. Tuition fees are insane and lately I joke that the only way I could ever get into a University is if we win the lottery.

What I am working on is getting my Native American Citizenship papers, because they offer assistance with college. Once I get through all that and find out what my options are, I hope... but won't count on, getting enough help that I may be able to seriously consider going to one of the local Universities.

So... this is my situation and I just needed to rant. Tomorrow is another day and some new opportunity could arise. I just gotta keep trudging along and do whatever I can to make something happen for myself.